RESHUFFLE: ANALISTS WILL BEGG FOR HANDOUTS; HOMELESS TO MANAGE INVESTMENT BANKS

Matei Gheorghe - Romania

Big American banks, unveil the new economic program to replace investment bankers with homeless vagabonds: "they know the street better than anyone, they can smell trends and lead us to nice profits." The banks decided to transfer the exiting investment bankers to the street where, they said, "they can learn how really money is made."